“I am an ‘abd who loves her Rabb.”

Those were the words that made their way through my sobs.

I was far away from the place I wanted to be and the people whose companionship I craved.

I felt empty; I felt like I had nothing to hold and nothing to give.

So, I entered into sujood in my brokenness because what better way is there to heal than to turn to the only One capable of fulfilling your every single need?

Alhamdulillah, it was soon after Ramadan that year, so the sweetness of worship from that blessed month was still running through me, strengthening me to strive to be content with the Qadr (Divine decree) of Allah.

I felt indescribably comforted after that realization I had in sujood. I am His ‘abd; Allah’s loving slave, and my Rabb is enough for me. I can withstand anything if He is pleased with me. I can walk through life with grace and carry peace in my heart, bi’idhnillah.

I still made du’a of course, but the months passed, and that particular wish of mine wasn’t fulfilled. In fact, it seemed that every time it could have been, it was turned away from me or I was turned away from it.

Yet so many other du’as I made were taking beautiful shape around me, and that was enough to brighten my days, tickle my stomach with butterflies, and add a happy spring to my step.

Then, this year, just before the start of Ramadan, Allah answered my long-awaited du’a. I found myself with the people who filled my heart with love and light in a place that was home to me.

He answered me.  In the most unexpected of ways that I never could have foreseen, but in a way more profound than I could have envisioned.

My brothers and sisters, the purpose behind my mentioning this experience is for you to realize two things: one, that Allah is enough for us, and secondly, Allah always plans in favour of His believers.

When we actually take time to pause and pour our hearts out to Allah, begging for His help, ease, and relief, many of us expect to witness a change in our external situation.

We look around for something tangible, a shift in our surroundings where all the obstacles are miraculously swept aside and we can move forward.

While this is what we often want, it’s not always what Allah knows we need.

For instance, I needed that one du’a to be delayed so that I could learn that Allah was sufficient for my happiness and inner peace. So that I could work on myself, build patience and resilience, soak in soul-stirring gratitude, and so much more…SubhanAllah.

Also, dear readers, this time taught me not to rely on the dunya for joy and fulfillment. Even when my du’a was answered and I tasted its sweetness, there were still moments of sadness and difficulty intertwined in it. Why?

Because this dunya will never be Jannah. And Allah, out of His Mercy, reminds us of this so that we don’t follow false hopes and grow lazy in our striving for the loftiest heights and most amazing companionship.

Imam Omar Suleiman puts it beautifully:

“The world becomes a much clearer place when you view the world through the lens of the Hereafter, rather than viewing the Hereafter through the lens of this world.”

The worldly life is full of ups and downs, and when we get what we want, as human beings, there will always be more things to desire and more problems that need solving! That’s why it’s so important to stay focused on what truly matters.

The Prophet ﷺ said,

“Whoever focuses on only one concern, the afterlife, Allah will be enough for his concerns in the world. Whoever scatters his concerns among the matters of the world, it does not matter to Allah in which valley he meets his demise.”

[Sunan Ibn Mājah 4106]

When we’re struggling to feel fulfilled and happy, my brothers and sisters, we need to ask ourselves what we’re prioritizing.

Are we being conscious of Allah? Are we seeking Him through the actions that He loves and has commanded us, or do we disobey him for the sake of temporary pleasure and fleeting gain?

Remembering Allah’s Promise and His Everlasting Reward is a means of us adopting beautiful patience.

The best ways out of our problems, our overwhelming feelings, and our depressed spirits are to remember our blessings and help others, and to engage constantly and consistently in dhikr (remembrance of Allah), du’a (supplication), and istighfar (seeking forgiveness).

Perhaps your way out needs an internal transformation.

Sometimes it is the radiance of knowing, trusting, and obeying Allah, which will diffuse outward and change the world around you without you even realizing it.

And with Allah as our Rabb, nothing is too much, too grand, or too amazing to expect and get excited for!

The hadith detailing our Prophet’s ﷺ night journey and ascension into the heavens is phenomenally inspiring on so many levels, but let us take a minute to marvel at the last portion of it.

“…Jibreel then travelled with me till we came to the farthest lote-tree, many a colour had covered it which I do not know. Then I was admitted to Paradise and saw in it domes of pearls, and its soil of musk.”

[Sahih Muslim 163]

This beautiful ending reminds us that there are infinite shades of Allah’s Mercy that are yet to envelop us; there are colours, sensations, experiences, and emotions that we cannot imagine or perceive but that we can look forward to as believers, bi’idhnillah.

So, let’s up our game this Ramadan and try to level up with diverse and sincere acts of worship!

And while we need to be filled with vibrant dreams and shining goals to ask of Him and strive towards, let our main objective be the simplest and most splendid one- to gain closeness to our Rabb.

To be an ‘abd who loves their Rabb and be one whom He loves.

Ya Allah, enable us all, Your believing slaves, those with us and those who have passed away, to attain the complete reward of a worship-filled Ramadan and attain the ultimate closeness to You in Jannathul Firdaus Al ‘Alaa and experience the incredible shades of Your Mercy.

Allahumma Aameen.